What happened to the Oklahoma Territories?

I don't know but they're OK now.

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Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

What's the worst thing that could happen to an r/joke/ subscriber?

faint

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What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!