What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick?

Bricks get laid.

What is the worst thing about being an egg?

You only get laid once, and that's by your mother!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic?

Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog.

When does a bed grow longer?

A: At night, because two feet are added to it.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

Why do you have your thumb on my steak?

So I don't drop it again, Sir."