What is a carpenters dream girl?

What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They only screw playoff games

How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. It's a huge problem.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Why is Jesus bad at hockey?

He always gets nailed to the boards.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

Why do they call boats "she"?

Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.