What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

What does a feminist get when she can't afford a punching bag?

A boyfriend.

Why don't you marry her?

Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.