Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup

Salad Bar Jokes More Salad Bar Jokes

What did the priest say at the salad bar?

Lettuce pray.

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Epileptic Jokes More Epileptic Jokes

How do epileptics keep fit?

With strobe lights.

What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves?

Russell

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What vegetable has Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Lettuce alone!*

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

What was the last phone call made from the Twin Towers?

An order for two large plains.