Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!"

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

e-reptile dysfunction

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

Chicken Caesar Jokes More Chicken Caesar Jokes

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the man say to the bee who wanted to learn the alphabet?

Nothing lmao bees cant learn.

Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Honeymoon Salad Jokes More Honeymoon Salad Jokes

What is a Honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone.

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What are the similarities between feminists and hobos?

They both ask for change and never get any.

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

Salad Dress Jokes More Salad Dress Jokes

What salad dressing does Macaulay Culkin prefer?

Neverland Ranch.

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.