When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?

Because they like to pump kin.

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?

ATTACH!

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What did one ovary say to the other one?

What did one ovary say to the other one? "Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.

What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building?

Tosses them off.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

How can you make a soup rich?

Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.

What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?

The plot thickens!

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

Where does it stop?

8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for

Why was the Mathematician frowned upon?

He was a chronic math-debater

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.