Waitress Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

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When can you tell your waitress is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How do you know your waitress is having a rough night?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

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Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

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Because they're raster graphic images.

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How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Why did the fruit leave office?

because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

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Why did Mary fell from the swing ?

Because she hasn't got arms !

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Because it was... imbalanced.

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He tips well.

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Its on the tip of my tongue...

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Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Whats the most slippery country?

Greece.

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Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Why was the hippo afraid to go skiing?

He didn't want to get hippothermia.

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What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun?

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Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.