Customer Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Why don't many customers go to the tea house?

Because the prices are so steep

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Why was the juice company losing customers?

There was no punch-line.

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress?

Wow, you seamstressed out. (I'm so sorry)

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?

Shoes wisely

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

How Pokemon go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon ! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon !"

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

Why did the customer slap the cashier?

Because he was checking her out.

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

Why does WalMart have so many handicapped parking spots?

Because they want to have some available to customers too!

What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl?

This is unacceptable.

Who drives away all his customers ?

A taxi driver.

Which format are the images you send?

Customer: "Rectangular 15x11 centimeters."

What's it like to work in customer service/retail?

Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

Who drives away all of his customers?

A taxicab driver.

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?

Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

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Imagine Jokes More Imagine Jokes

What's it like to work in customer service/retail?

Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

How long did it take the fish to go to the store?

salmon or eight minutes.

What's the difference between batman and Blackman?

Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Delia Smith say when she wants to fight a road?

Let's be avenue.'

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

Applicant Jokes More Applicant Jokes

What are some of your weaknesses?

Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it A: I'm lazy to list them all...

What did the insurance company say to the applicant?

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why aren't you working?

Me: I didn't see you coming!

Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many babies can fit in a blender?

Depends how powerful the blender is

What's an old woman taste like?

Depends ...

Worker Jokes More Worker Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)