What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How do you buy hair?

You have toupee

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

Who drives away all his customers ?

A taxi driver.

Which format are the images you send?

Customer: "Rectangular 15x11 centimeters."

Candy Bar Jokes More Candy Bar Jokes

What's the best part about being an orphan?

All your chips and candy bars are family sized.

How does a candy bar laugh?

It snickers

Non Jokes More Non Jokes

What kind of organization is Atheism?

Non-prophet.

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Vegans have the same capability of changing a lightbulb as non-vegans.

Clerk Jokes More Clerk Jokes

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!