What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What did Pitbull ask for Christmas?

Dolly.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

What do old cars and dead chickens have in common?

You'll usually get more money for them if you sell them for parts

Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire!

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?

Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

Shrug Jokes More Shrug Jokes

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*