Why is everything lying on the floor?

my mom asked Gravity, I replied.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

What do you call a pregnant nun who cycles to church everyday?

No seriously, a friend asked me this and I didn't know.

Gravity Jokes More Gravity Jokes

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

What is the only law that Hillary obeys?

The law of gravity

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How high are you! ?

demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.

Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What's the highest story of any building?

Floor 20

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!