Floor Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

nail the other hand to the floor.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor?

A pedal physician in the fetal position.

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

What would you do?

Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

What do you call some soapy water on the floor?

Now you're just some bubbles that I used to blow.

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor

What did one architect say to the other?

I see the floor in your plan."

What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor?

Matt.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you call coffee on the floor?

Ground Coffee.

What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks?

HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?

It slipped a disk.

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building?

It's a long story.

What Is A Kiss?

Answer: Its An Inquiry At The Top Floor Regarding The Vacancy In The Ground Floor.

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

What are these clothes on the floor?

A dead Jedi" I replied

What's the highest story of any building?

Floor 20

How can you make money fast?

Glue it to the floor.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

What do you call two banana peels on the floor?

Slippers

How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring?

It's all tongue and groove.

Why does Helium go up?

Because the floors Argon.

Howdo you stop a baby from running in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?

Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.

How many men does it take to mop the floor?

Answer: None it's a women's job.

Why does a blonde lay on the floor while shopping?

To look for the lowest prices.

What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have?

A: Rep-tiles.

What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell?

the floor

What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor?

That's no gouda

What did the floor say to the desk?

I can see your drawers!

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

A: Rep Tiles

Why is everything lying on the floor?

my mom asked Gravity, I replied.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor?

You stop laughing and shoot him again.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What is something that can breakdance on the floor only once on their life?

A fish

What is the last sound you hear before a pubic hair hits the floor?

PTEWIE!

This joke may have profanity.

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui"

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Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

mitosis

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Sara fall out of the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock..who's there..Not Sara.

What did the architect say about the rack?

How does she not fall over?

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books."

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

Radio Jokes More Radio Jokes

Who's there ! Alison ! Alison who ?

Alison to my radio in the mornings !

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common?

The amount of lead put into black people. (It was funnier over the radio)

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

How do I look?

I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed

12th Jokes More 12th Jokes

How do you make the 12th man Happy?

FIRE BEVELL

What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

10th Jokes More 10th Jokes

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

What's the difference between falling from the 1st and 10th floor?

Falling from the 1st floor: SPLAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Falling from the 10th floor: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SPLAT!

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

What sound does a fratboy make when he hits the water?

DOUCHE