Step Jokes

Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

What would you do if someone is choking?

Take a step back.

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

What happens when you step on an oily asian?

Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope.

What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower?

A toe-mat-o.

What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?

You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

How are getting popular in high school and getting a college woman pregnant similar?

Step one: penetrate the student body.

Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons?

Because they keep stepping on the string.

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!"

What happened to you?

the doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop?

OH CARP!!!

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What was wrriten on a sign at the entrance of a gas chamber in the Holocaust?

Watch your step

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

How much have you had to drink?

Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel

What would you say is your biggest flaw?

i step in in people's conversations" "i was asking *him*"

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Why do elephants jump across rivers?

So they won't step on the fish.

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why did the computer squeak?

A: Someone stepped on the mouse.

What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?

A couple of steps closer to their final destination.

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

How did the firefly react when he was stepped on?

He was delighted.

What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards?

A receding hare line.

What did the sister cell say to her sister cell when she stepped on her foot?

Ow Mytosis! Credits to Amanda Damiani

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels?

Very large ones.

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on Ant?

Nothing, Pink Panther doesn't talk!

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline Probally heard this but it's worth a shot

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious

What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom?

A chicken stepping on a landmine.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?

squash*

Who's skin is that?

Please step out of the vehicle sir."

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Why was the stair frustrated and angry?

It was tired of being stepped on by everyone!

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

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Pink Panther Jokes More Pink Panther Jokes

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did everyone wanted to hang out with the mushroom?

Because he was a fungi

What did the toaster say to the pop tart?

I want you inside of me.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

What are a terrestrial planet's favorite genres of music?

Rock and Heavy Metal

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What do ants drink?

Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

Why was the baby ant so confused?

Because all of his uncles were ants!

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

Why did the European businessman sleep on the streets?

To avoid a hostel takeover.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the man shut his donut shop?

Why did the man close his donut shop ...because he was fed up with the hole business!

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.