Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

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Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

What do they call a virgin down in the south?

Faster than her brother!

What do balloons and virgins have in common?

One prick and its gone.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died?

Napoleon Blownaparte

Why did the water level in the pond rise?

Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Bono and Jesus?

Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.

How did Jesus get to the other side of the street?

He used the Cross Walk.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the electrician close early on Mondays?

Because business was very light.

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What does MC Hammer and antimatter have in common?

Can't touch this!

What do characters at Disney World and strippers have in common?

No touching!

Wound Jokes More Wound Jokes

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds. :D

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.