Business Jokes

Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business?

She told people to stop patronizing her.

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What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

Why was the cemetery plot salesman upset?

Business was dead.

How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries?

He stepped down.

What is a ferret funeral?

Serious business

Why do brothels support Hillary?

Cause #FeelTheBern would be bad for business.

What is the best way for a pet shop to get business?

Word of mouse.

Why was Muhammad's dad always successful in business?

He made a gross prophet!

How do dogs do business?

Pro-bono

Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?

Because he lost interest.

Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq?

Because there are too many targets.

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Why did Reddit's restaurant go our of business?

All of its servers were busy

Why are fisherman so successful in business?

Because they use "net" profits

Why did two ferrets decide to meet?

They were trying to start a business.

Why did the dwarf go out of business?

The overheads were too high.

Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies?

They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.

Why do businesses move to India?

Because they worship prophets!

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

Why did Gateway computers go out of business?

Because they led to stronger and addictive computers.

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

No connection

Where'd the rabbi stay on business?

The L'Hyatt

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

1. No mind. 2. No business.

How do you keep black people out of your business?

Put up a "Now Hiring" sign.

How many magazines did the racquetball footwear company make before going out of business?

Tennis shoes (Also: can anyone think of a more succinct buildup It seems kinda unwieldy to me)

How did you get into my house?

business.

Why Would Clint Eastwood be Bad at Restructuring a Business?

He can't remember if he fired 5 or 6.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

Why did the electrician close early on Mondays?

Because business was very light.

What do you call it when a woman of the church goes on a secret mission?

Nun of your business

What happens when a bunch of ferrets get together?

None of your business.

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal?

He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

Why did Nietzche's Shop go out of business?

He accepted eternal returns.

What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

A bus

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood?

Your noggin

How's the business?

2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator

What did the Devil say to the being that sold its soul to him?

Nice doing business with you!"

How would you improve our business?

Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

Why did the coke dealer retire?

He was tired of putting his business in other peoples' noses

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

Underlay! Underlay!

How do fish go into business ?

The start on a small scale !

What business is King Kong in?

Monkey business.

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

Why did the air freshener company go out of business?

Because they lacked common scents...

What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory?

You can hear a cough drop.

What is the best way to get called a ,"genius?

by losing a billion dollars in business.

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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Libertarian Jokes More Libertarian Jokes

How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

If it's their lightbulb, none of your damn business.

How many libertarians?

How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How's the business?

2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

Clown Jokes More Clown Jokes

How do you stop clowns from attacking you?

Go for the juggler

What do you call a midget clown that juggles?

A Juggalo

King Kong Jokes More King Kong Jokes

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

Why did King Kong join the army?

To learn about gorilla warfare.

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What do you call a business man that blocks snow?

A cold wall banker.

What do you call a fanny on a fanny on a fanny?

A block of flaps

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph

What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart?

Mind the GAAP.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Why did my husband die?

Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am" Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!" Doctor: "I know, but I did"

Nosey Pepper Jokes More Nosey Pepper Jokes

What do nosey peppers do?

They get Jalapeno business!

Why do you hate a nosey pepper?

Cuz he's jalapeno .business