Gravity Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

Why is gravity so weak?

Because it doesn't lift

What is your least favorite force of nature?

A: Gravity. It's always bringing me down.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What defies the law of gravity?

Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why did the bird get a ticket?

A: It broke the law of gravity!

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How does gravity greet itself?

It just waves

Why is everything lying on the floor?

my mom asked Gravity, I replied.

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

What do you call an evil physicist?

Sinner of Gravity

What is the only law that Hillary obeys?

The law of gravity

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...

It's impossible to put down

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Law Jokes More Law Jokes

Why do ghosts make the best thieves?

Because possession is 9/10 of the law

What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle?

WRONG.** ... or right, or something in between.

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

What kind of cologne applies itself?

Elon Musk

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why did the man use deodorant to fix a broken window?

He read that it was an invisible solid.

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

What happens to lawyers after they die?

They lie still.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

What holds the moon up?

A: Moonbeams.

What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did?

gize.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

What do you call a donut that is out of this world?

Astronaut-----

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.