What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

How do you think the unthinkable?

With an ithberg

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no religion?

Godfrey

What if a man existed w/one hand that's a steak and the other is lobster plus unlimited salad bar?

This is the plot of Edward Sizzlerhands

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.

What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

When can you operate?

lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.

How high is it Doctor?

she wanted to know. 'One hundred and three' said the doctor. 'What is the world record '

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

Exactly the same.

Gravity Jokes More Gravity Jokes

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

Situation Jokes More Situation Jokes

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.