What is long and hard on a Newfie?

Grade 1.

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Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

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What grades did Fidel Castro get at school?

Full Marx

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

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How did the Newfie get his wife pregnant?

and you call us stupid.

Why do Newfies want Quebec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!