Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes?

Sweet Pee

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

What do you call a deaf chick in bed?

Anything you want

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

If it had 4 doors, it'd be a chicken sedan.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space."

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What instant coffee and Sasha Grey have in common?

3 in 1

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's a robin?

Fred: A bird that steals ma'am.

Why did the asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?

It was a Regal

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why aren't Pokemon very good dancers?

They can only learn 4 moves.

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

Discipline Jokes More Discipline Jokes

How do you discipline your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom!

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.