What's the difference between a refugee and E.T?

E.T learned English and wanted to go home.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS military base?

I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone.

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a bird say when it wants revenge?

Toucan play at that game!

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?

Polly wants a firecracker!

E.T. Jokes More E.T. Jokes

What does E.T. stand for?

Freedom of speech

Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

He saw the phone bill.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What's the most difficult percussion instrument to learn?

Conundrums!

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

Refugee Jokes More Refugee Jokes

What's the difference between a refugee and E.T?

E.T learned English and wanted to go home.

How does Germany pay for all these refugees?

Krautfunding.