What is long, white, and very sticky?

The coming of the Lord!

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

Why is God depressed?

Imagine...*You* Being God, the Lord, Him... But imagine us.

What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?

I don't know what you're Tolkien about!" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.