How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you say when it's snowing?

Winter is coming.

Why do people call the deceased "late"?

They aren't late.. They aren't coming.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow?

Mufasa!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How do you get a post that's not a joke into /r/jokes?

Like this.

What's something a third wave feminist can't take?

A joke.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

What does a redneck do on Halloween?

Pumpkin

O Jokes More O Jokes

What do you call a disabled Lego?

An O.

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

Neighborhood Jokes More Neighborhood Jokes

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose?

It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood.

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has been sighted.

What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper?

Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too.