Neighborhood Jokes

Why are school shooters more likely to be white people?

White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood.

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How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?

The Blacks get car insurance.

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?

My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."

What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose?

It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood.

What do tornados and black people have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood

What does a black man and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What do you call the neighborhood where all the poor Italians live?

The spaghetto.

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How are black people similar to tornadoes?

They both only take one to ruin a neighborhood.

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What do black people and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What do a tornado and a black man have in common?

They both can ruin a neighborhood.

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

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Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

What do a Redneck divorcee and a Tornado have in common?

either way, you're gonna lose your trailer...

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

Why is it called a living room?

Don't we live in every room

O Jokes More O Jokes

What did the O say to the 8?

Nice belt.

How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'?

Four. O, double-u and e.

Spaghetto Jokes More Spaghetto Jokes

What do you call a bad Italian neighborhood?

The spaghetto.

Where does poor spaghetti live?

The spaghetto

Car Insurance Jokes More Car Insurance Jokes

How do you tell when the Chinese move to town?

When the Mexicans get car insurance.

What car insurance do Canadians have?

Triple 'eh'

Topologist Jokes More Topologist Jokes

Why are topologists on a world of their own?

They think on a whole different dimension.

Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How many retards does it take to push a bus?

Just one. They're retardedily strong.

What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

Vasectomy Jokes More Vasectomy Jokes

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

Why did the black guy wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.