What're you here for?

asks the desk lady. "I'm addicted to quack."

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What did the mexican student say when he was asked to turn in his essay?

I ain't no snitch.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

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Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?

Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

What happens when ducks fly upside down??

They quack up