What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?

It's a dead letter day.

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What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ?

Your plaice or mine' !

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

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Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

What two words contain the most letters?

A: Post office.