What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What do you call a Cadillac with a staircase on the back?

An escalador.

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Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.