What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree?

Because he couldn't bark

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do neutrinos and I have in common?

We're always penetrating your mom

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome."

How do you wake up Lady Gaga..?

POKER FACE ... BAHAHAHA!!!

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?

None.