What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

What do you call a bottle of seltzer that lost all its bubbles?

Water...

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

Why does the town pound keep animals in separate cages?

Cause otherwise they'd be going to pound town.

What's a dog's least favorite unit of measurement?

Pounds

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

Which is the quickest way to make someone lose?

The game.

What is the quickest way to double your money ?

Fold it in half !