What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common?

They both lose pounds really fast.

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the Pound!

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?

Through the chest plate.

What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?

The rib cage.