Whats The difference between Stealing Cookies from a Jar and Child Molesting?

Ive only ever been caught stealing cookies.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on.

What's the difference in red and purple...?

How hard you squeeze it.

S Jokes More S Jokes

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery bag?

You take the "S" out of safe and the "F" out of way. One of my all time faves. If you say it out loud it will make sense :D

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

How do you catch a rabbit?

You hide in a field and make carrot noises.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you call someone stealing musical instruments?

A Luter.

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money