When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet?

I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."

Previous Random Joke Next
Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names!

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What family does the octopus belong to?

Pupil: Nobody I know!

Football Team Jokes More Football Team Jokes

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs!