Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ?

On squid row !

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?

It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.

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What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

What does an octopus have ten of?

Tickles...