Where is the best place to buy computer software?

Washington C.D

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Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings?

He went to Jared.

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Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat?

The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

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Which state does the most laundry?

Washington.

How much does freedom weigh?

A WashingTon.