Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What will men do for pleasure at that time?

God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.

What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand?

O Cristor Redundant

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.