Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

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What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

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How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka?

Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.