Magician Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What do you call a dog that is a magician?

A Labara Cadabarador

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

When is a farmer like a magician?

A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

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Psychologist Jokes More Psychologist Jokes

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?

Because the 'P' is silent

Dead Magician Jokes More Dead Magician Jokes

What do you call a dead magician?

Abra Cadaver.

What did the dead magician say?

Abra-cadaver

Rat Jokes More Rat Jokes

What do you call ratting out the President's daughter for smoking weed?

High treason.

Why is a rat when it spins?

The higher it flies, the much.

Black Magician Jokes More Black Magician Jokes

Why aren't there any black magicians?

Because magic is stupid.

Why are there no black magicians?

They get arrested when they make something disappear.

Stunt Jokes More Stunt Jokes

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What's the difference between the Rockettes and a troop of acrobats?

One is a cunning array of stunts.

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

It takes too long to retrain them.

Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Habit Jokes More Habit Jokes

Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

Why is it hard to buy potatoes on the black market?

Because there are eyes everywhere!

What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.