What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Previous Random Joke Next
Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy?

When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, "Merci!".

What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians?

Asians don't have the "cauc".

End Jokes More End Jokes

What word begins with "N" and ends in "R" that I wouldn't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did the programmer's girlfriend move back home so quickly?

She returned because all he ever did was split her in the middle for log(n) time.

Why do you make more money?

A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?" The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is running."

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

Performance Jokes More Performance Jokes

Why do galaxies put on boring shows while separated?

Because their performance is lack-cluster.

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids