Appear Jokes

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka?

Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living?

By appearing in television spooktaculars.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary?

A: U.K.

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

How much for the supermodel?

winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

What are the keys made of?

Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

When do ghosts usually appear?

Just before someone screams.

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

What sign appears on abortion clinics in black communities?

Crime Prevention Center"

This joke may have profanity.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many homophobes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They don't accept change, even if it means a brighter world.

How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

Boston Jokes More Boston Jokes

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.

What does a Boston terrier sound like?

Bahk bahk. Wicked bahk.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What is your first wish?

Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

How do you know if Buzzfeed article is stolen?

You get the feeling that you've Reddit before.

Why was the Facebook post redundant?

Because I already reddit

Lap Jokes More Lap Jokes

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie?

A: She's the one sleeping with the writer.

What do you call a movie about artificial orange juice?

Pulp Fiction

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

World Jokes More World Jokes

How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.

What's the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt