Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

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Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

M&M Jokes More M&M Jokes

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?

A: They're too hard to peel.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes?

Prankenstein!

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?

I feel abominable.'