What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What goes above the water and below the water but doesn't touch the water?

An egg in a duck.

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity

What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's