What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

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What happens when you combine Rick & Morty with a Solar Flare?

You get Solar Morty and WOOOoooooo!

What happened to the fireman who let the house burn?

He got fired.

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What be a pirate's favorite restaurant?

You'd think it was Arby's, but it's actually Long John Silver's.

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

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Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

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Who's there ! Amahl ! Amahl who ?

Amahl shook up !

What animal do you get when shake a pig?

a ham-stir

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What is Anthony Weiner's favorite type of mail?

Junk mail

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

Weiner Jokes More Weiner Jokes

What is the difference between memory and ram?

I can't memory my weiner in your mouth.

What's the difference between a republican and a democrat?

How much damage can their Weiner make...