Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

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What 3 candies do you find in school?

Redhots, DumDums, and smarties.

What did Hermoine say when she found out she's pregnant?

Fetus Abortus!

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Who's There?.........9/11.....9/11 Who?

I thought you said you'd never forget...."

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

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What does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress?

Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? A: a Freudian slip

How do you get a baby into a shoebox?

A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw.