Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

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Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

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How do you find a dirty cop?

Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers

What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke?

Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there 911. 911 who You said you'd never forget

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How do you get a baby into a shoebox?

A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas A: He could feel his presence!