Why can't bicycles stand up on their own?

Because they're two tired

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.