Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

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What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

Why can't Ray Charles read?

Because he's black.

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Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.

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How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

November.

Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.