Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children?

He prefers them shaken, not stirred.

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Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why are farmers so wealthy?

Because their stalks are always growing.

What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

How does ISIL prefer their eggs?

Sunni side up at first. But they always end up scrambled.

What do you call a pig sitting on a hog?

Usually they prefer to be called "officer"

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!

What did the Pope say to the hot atheist girl?

Shake that blasphemy

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?

He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!