Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.

Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!