Why did John Lennon get shot?

because Mark Chapman was a terrible shot, and kept missing Yoko.

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What do you call an octopus that's missing one tentacle?

Octopus Prime.

Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train?

Because it went straight pasta.

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What happens when you shoot a black man?

You go to jail for impersonating a police officer...

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

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How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated