Why didn't John die?

John is a bird.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What dies a little, when explained about?

A joke.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What's the difference between a bird, and a bird with only one wing?

It's a matter of a pinion(http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pinion).

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan

John Jokes More John Jokes

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ?

John.

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.