Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.

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Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

Admit Jokes More Admit Jokes

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

Convict Jokes More Convict Jokes

Why did did the convicts escape?

Billy Eichner has a theory... Billy Eichner says I bet those escaped convicts are going to see Ted 2.

What do you call a psychic, escape convict who is also a dwarf?

A small medium at large.