Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why are liars so lazy?

Because they are always lying in bed!

Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed?

Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why are bats blind?

Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!