Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do you call a deaf chick in bed?

Anything you want

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why couldn't the Italian man start his car?

gnocchi

What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the best time of the day?

6:30...

Why does everyone start to fight the day after Christmas?

Because it's Boxing Day!

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!