Why do politians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.

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What do you call a noisy Chinese dog?

How-Ling (my dad wanted me to post this)

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

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Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

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When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"